• Nastavi


Never did I ever think this day would come.. but I have a confession to make. You have no idea about the amount of shame I feel, but I have to share it to the world. This is not what you're used to from me, this is beyond explanation. Hear me out...

I think I am in love with a new song from Justin Bieber..

Phew.. Now that I've told you I feel a lot better. But all jokes aside, this simple song explains what I feel all day everyday, even when I am around her. We used to work together you know.. Now we work opposite shifts at different workplaces because there's a child involved. When we worked together in our department, everyone knew everything would be alright that shift. A package deal that guaranteed a fun and efficient work environment. Things happened, and in the end everyone got separated. It was right in the middle of toughest period in my relationship. I had a moment of realization.

I saw her more often than anyone else in my life. We both worked long weeks, overtime when necessary and filled in for sick co-workers. People thought we were a couple. Even though, at the time, we were not. Not because we did naughty things or something, but because of the expressions on our faces and the way we had fun. Most people repeatedly asked us if we were a thing. Some people were haters, jealous. It must be frustrating to watch two people of the opposite sex having the time of their life while working, and doing a better job than themselves as well. Unfortunately, this probably contributed to those previously mentioned changes.

Maybe they saw something we didn't really see ourselves at the time. The moment I knew we were gonna be separated, I felt an emptiness bigger than any I've felt before, or could ever feel. She ended her relationship about a year before I was able to end mine. So if I can't be close to you, I'll settle for the ghost of you. I miss you more than life. Except, I won't settle for something that is not completely her. Yes, I miss her more than life. I never realized how much until exactly that moment. I am a little slow sometimes.. In my language we have a saying. It was the droplet that made the bucket overflow. I knew I had to do anything within my power to get close to her. I couldn't take the distance.

To this day, more than six months later, my colleagues still approach me with questions about my SO. Not everyone knows, and that's for the best. But you know how it is. Time passes and word gets around. Props to Justin for giving me goosebumps. Didn't know he had it in him. I hope he continues making songs like that.

- Nastavi

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