• Nastavi

Happy holidays

Bijgewerkt op: 13 feb.

It's been a long time since my last post, and I apologize. I am happy to see that some people regularly visit the page, or are liking a post. I want to thank you for taking the time to read what I write. It isn't always easy for me to put what I feel into words.


Christmas is an interesting time of year. I always reflect on what happened and what feelings I had during the past eleven months. From happiness to sadness, from fulfillment to loneliness. From stressed out to zen. December isn't always the happiest time of the year for me.


The holiday music is playing in the corner of every street. Curtains of light are visible behind almost every window. Thick drops of rain, howling winds and the last leafs letting go of an already empty branch. While the days are getting shorter, and the temperature gets colder, I try to get myself out of bed every cold morning. Not always am I successful. I'd rather stay where it is warm. I'd rather close my eyes for just a little longer.


Cliché movies playing on TV and every radio channel playing the same tunes. Netflix morphing into a glitter galary with the same yearly recommendations. Although there is a certain feeling of comfort during these holidays, I can't help but to feel a little down. Snow would help, but that's quite rare over here. I love it when there's a thick layer of white on every car on the road. The environmental sounds feel numb, there's an indescribable silence that feels like it hugs me.


Every year, Christmas felt different to me. I've known both happy and sad moments. The social obligations were the cause of me acting like I was fine and happy. Not many people can see behind the mask. I like to buy myself a big tree and decorate it. The smell of the pine tree makes me overflow with nostalgia. Going outside of the house without a good reason is something I rarely do. But this smell makes me want to embrace nature. It almost feels like I've lived a life before this one, and maybe that's where the nostalgia comes from. Maybe in a former life, I've lived in the mountains in Sweden or something.


Anyhow, I wonder how I will feel this year. Surprisingly, it can go any direction. Even though I've found my peace and happiness, there's still a big chance that this month makes me feel things I did not anticipate. It happened before so it could happen again. May you find happiness an joy this month. I wish you all the best.

- Nastavi

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