• Nastavi

Homecoming

The end of my very first vacation after a series of events is coming near. Bags are packed and the airplane is ready for boarding. We've had a wonderful time here. Escaping my hometown and my country gave me the opportunity to unwind and reflect on the recent past.


First I'd like to apologize for the fact that I didn't post much during my holiday. I wanted to, and I though about many potential subjects. But I realized that time is scarce and I needed to spend mine wisely. Untill the end of this year, I won't have another opportunity to spend this much private time with Krumpir.


That brings me to my second announcement. I'd like to introduce you to my significant other. You can call her Krumpir! She agreed to be an author for Nastavi and I am eagerly looking forward to her contribution! Krumpir means potato in the Bosnian language. Why potato? I eh.. well you'll have to wait for her to introduce herself. She will, don't worry.


A few weeks ago I told her I started this project. I think she might have forgotten that I was working on this on the side. To be fair, I wrote most of my articles when she was either sleeping, or at work. I like to spend the time that we have on each other. And luckily, very soon this might become a shared hobby!


My vacation was very different than the ones in the past. This time I, well we, were mostly laying on a sunbed right next to the pool in an all-inclusive resort. One day we walked for 8 kilometers straight, 30 degrees with no wind on a long, long sidewalk. We did this voluntarily. Taxi drivers and busses stopped and tried to talk us out of it, but we insisted. That was our most active day.


In the past, everything was planned. I am used to doing what's expected of a tourist. Visit the local musea, archeological sites, etcetera etcetera. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy that every once in a while. But I'm used to visiting four or five places a day, for the whole vacation. In a way, this was some kind of occupational therapy. Avoidance. As long as we had a very tight schedule, there was less time left for arguing or fighting, right?


But this time, everything was optional. Sure, in the end we did exactly what we would've done at home with 30 degrees Celsius, which is absolutely nothing haha. I loved it. It was exactly what I needed. I came to realize s few things.


For the past few years I haven't been taking enough care of myself. I ate tons of junkfood, I stopped working out, started smoking more, dressed like a homeless sixty year old person and isolated myself as much as I could. I even had a visible, undiagnosed facial skin condition and I refused to see a doctor. Happiness and self-care were farfetched, even though some good things were happening to me.

I bought a house, became a dad and got a full-time job. All the reason to be happy right?


I just.. didn't feel it.


But that's a story for another time. What matters now is that she makes my feel like myself again. I feel accepted, appreciated and adored. The triple-A of a good relationship! Don't know if that's a thing, I just made it up, but it's catchy. Don't steal it, it's mine now. All rights reserved ©.


My 'new era resolution' is to rediscover the old me; to focus on what makes me happy in life. I'm aiming for a happier, well-maintained me. Not just for myself, but also for my relationship. She said that she loves me for who I am, and I promised her that I'll always be the person who I truly am.

I will continue to find and become my old self.


- Nastavi

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