• Nastavi

Skin disease

Right, so for the last year and a half I am suffering from a facial skin disease. It's been hard, but I am also partly to blame. Visiting a doctor is always a last resort for me and I postponed it for as long as I could.. My dermatologist gave me the diagnosis 'Lupus miliaris disseminatus faciei' a few months ago, after my general practitioner referred me when my treatments showed no results.

They didn't know what it was first though, so I started with cetomacrogol cream. This only made it worse. After that, they gave me Pimecrolimus cream and Hibiscrub. Although this combinations did amazing things for my acne, it only slightly reduced my condition for a short amount of time. After a week or two, it was as bad as before. That's when I went to the dermatologist.

My first dermatologist asked for a second opinion. They couldn't figure out what it was so they cut a small sample out of my face and sent it to the laboratory. A week later I got my results back. The name of the diagnoses was difficult to remember. They said I should start with Metronidazol cream, and doxycycline antibiotics for six weeks and see the results.

After these six weeks, my symptoms reduced a bit. It wasn't gone though. Krumpir and I went on vacation. This is where my condition completely disappeared. Although sunlight was something to be avoided as much as possible, this was pretty hard over there. The salty sea also did wonders for my skin. After only a week, it seemed like I was back to my old self again. I regained my self-esteem and felt very happy about it.

Too bad that only two days after arriving back home, it came back hard. With little sunlight and no swimming in the sea, it became worse than ever before. Tomorrow I am going to make a new appointment with my dermatologist, hoping there's a quick fix. But I did my research.. There's probably non. I'm going to suggest a heavier treatment based on a research done in Japan. I'd like to know their opinion about this.

The reason I'm sharing this is because this condition has been, and still is, a difficult mind-game that influences my self-image and self-esteem. Every time I speak to someone, thoughts enter my mind. ''Gosh I hope it isn't too visible today..''. ''I hope people don't think it's contagious..''. ''I hope people don't think it's disgusting..''. Because on my worst days, even I sometimes think it's disgusting..

My SO keeps calling me handsome and loves me, with or without this condition. But it doesn't help me with my insecurities. I really appreciate her trying though.

I hope that my next blog will be about how it completely disappeared and how I am worry-free. In a few months or more probably.. I'll just have to continue to be patient and cope with the current situation the best way I can. I'll keep you updated.

- Nastavi